HOLA a todos :)

I have had some people asking me about where we stand with things- adoption, life, etc. so I am going to write a detailed message here for one and all :)

A lot has changed since my last entry LOL; which only goes to show that God can change anything in an instant. Well when I left my last entry on May 2nd we had just watched our friend's children and came back from a nice mini getaway (just the two of us) to Cleveland, OH. Well that week we were getting ready for our adoption yard sale....when.....wouldn't you know it.....we got the "call." It was three weeks ago exactly from today when we got a phone call from our agency about a sibling group of four. It is a temporary placement which means that it is fostering only and the goal is strictly reunification and for them to go back home. Our agency told us this and while we really want placements that are "pre-adoptive" only (pre-adoptive are children whose parents either have or are about to lose their rights because they are not doing what they need to get the kids back or because they gave up rights, etc. It means they are looking for a foster home in which to place the children that can work toward adopting. This whole process can take from 6 months to 18 months----you know the government and each case is different). Ok so back to the phone call. Well this placement (placement- children who are placed in our home) was temporary only. We decided to say yes for several reasons; but mostly being we just wanted some kids in our house and to see what God had in store. Plus we are getting our feet wet and going through the whole experience at least once. We are also hoping after this our agency will call us with a "pre-adoptive" placement.

So we said yes and things got REAL crazy from there. I dont know how many of you have ever gone from 0 to 4 children in three hours but that is what we did LOL. I was at work (of course the call comes one of the two days I work each week) so Shawn left early and went to meet the children from DCS. I got home as they were pulling in and we winged it from there. Some of you know this, but for those of you who dont, we cannot give out too much more information about the children or post pics of them due to privacy issues. I am sure you can understand the delicacy of the situation. Anyways I can tell you that "I" is 5- boy, "K" is 4- girl, "C" is 3- boy, and "A"- girl is 3 weeks (almost a month). The older three came to us first on that Wed night. The baby was only two days old so we picked her up from the hospital that next Monday. They are all great kids and very well behaved.

Since that day things have been crazy (like def more laundry for me and home cooking for 6)! I am staying at home with the kids. "I" attends school right here in our subdivision and the other three are at home. Between appointments, tutoring part time, selling Lia Sophia, etc. I have def stayed busy. It was great though how much our family and friends have rallied around us and have helped us out. We were "mentally" ready for the thought of many children but to actually go through the motions is a different story! I do agree with the saying once you do it for more than two children it is like a couple more is no big deal :).

We have gotten to do some fun things with them like go grocery shopping all together, eat watermelon outside, wash the cars, go for walks, grill hot dogs over the fire; and last week we attempted to go to a baseball game. It was rainy and cold so we stayed all of thirty minutes; but hey, we tried! I am getting good at multi-tasking and since I love to schedule this is great for me- now I have 6 schedules to keep track of!


Now they have been with us for three weeks, and, of course, the famous question is "how long will they be with you?" (That comes right after- "Wow you had a lot of children real young." Or "you are so brave to be out with those children all by yourself.") Anyways your guess to the answer of that above question is as good as ours. We hear different everyday. I honestly thought I would be dealing with behavioral issues with the kids; but the issue for me is DCS and how slow things work. Part of the deal of foster care if you take day by day and just love on them while you can. This is hard for me because the thought of getting close only to have them leave breaks my heart but we knew this going into it! The emotional side of things is very hard. I just try not to think about it and I also try not to keep a wall up with the kids to "protect myself." I know they need love right now and so we are just loving on them.

Our goal in this has to be selfless; we are there to show them Jesus. One sweet moment was with 4 year old K (girl). She is a quiet but smart girl. She is glued to my hip. She loves Hannah Montana and to read stories, esp princess stories. Well anyways we were going home from church two weeks ago and she starts telling us that in Sunday school she asked Jesus into her heart. It was such a poignant moment. We got to tell her about Jesus. It was interesting to answer the questions of a four year about heaven, Jesus, how he lives in our hearts, how he died, etc. but at the same time what an honor to be able to do that! We didnt think we would be doing that for a couple of years yet but it was sweet. It really is a ministry.

Obviously life is crazy right now (the reason I am writing this community letter- sorry guys!); but fun and very unpredictable (the other morning the dog threw up, kids had accidents, and the baby chooses this moment to spit up all over me----you get the idea) all at the same time!

Side note: example of craziness- our dogs have ran away twice since the kids have been here. That is more than in the last year combined! Our friend says the must need to have some "doogie alone time." I say it is because more people mean more chances of the gate getting left open. This past week a lady locked them in her yard, took the time to look on Chico's rabies tag and call our vet to hunt us down (yes I know their tags need to be updated with our new info). The funny part was the kids had told me they saw the dogs running away while we were eating breakfast but I said "No they arent! They are in the backyard." Well lo and behold I get a phone call from Shawn around 12 saying some lady called him down from the street at his job and she had our dogs in her yard. I had to go and retrieve my stinky, nasty rascals! They had decided to take a dip in the creek before cruising the neighborhood. Turns out----the kids were right----they did see the dogs running away while I was getting their breakfast ready and my head was turned. Shoulda listened lol. However, I think now I am about prepared for almost anything!

On another note- As I am sure some of you may have seen, we did send out letters the past couple of weeks in regards to our adoption fund. We did get the fund opened and now we are still working on raising money for our private adoption (this means a birth mother would choose us and we would travel to where she is at the birth and the baby would come to us then instead of waiting to adopt in foster care. This is a quicker, but more expensive process). So we are still waiting to raise the money for that. It is looking like it might be a couple more months before we can approach that again. We are at a waiting point in that area. We will do this AND fostering to adopt.

With so much going on I was thinking the other day I dont want this to define who we are. I feel like I have become so defined lately; with the definition of my life being our "problem." We have been trying to stay us- Shawn and Rachael- married, in love, best friends, and children of God through it all. We are doing pretty well. Each days has it own challenges. Throw 4 kids and two dogs in to the mix and whew it can be tiring. Plus the no sleep with a newborn. Whew. We make it out alive though and other people do it so we know we can make it! We just take each day at a time and try not to let the kids, having kids, and problems with the kids define us and our relationship with each other or the Lord.

Side note: A shout out to my amazing husband. He is such a caring man and without him I would never take on these crazy things- but at the end of the day it is all SO worth it and he is SO worth marrying. I love him so much. His birthday is in a week, as well as our 4th anniversary! I CANT BELIEVE IT! Time flies! We are still so in love. I wouldnt trade a day for anything. And really, how many people can say that?


Life is good, may not always go the way I want, but at the end of the day it goes exactly how He knew it would be. It keeps me on my toes. God def has a sense of humor :)

Keep in contact. God bless and love you all!

Love,
Rachael

Two week ago.....we went to the doctor's office for the official results of the tests that Shawn went through over the past few months. We were not expecting the results to be any different from the one sperm count we were able to do a year and a half ago, and it turned out to be the same. Secretly I suppose as sure as were it would be the same, a little part of us hoped to hear something different. I think that is why it was kind of nice not to know, it allows us that small sliver of hope. On the other hand it is nice to have the closure and know neither one of us will look back and wonder, "What if..." Not to mention it was not at our expensive since the VA paid for it. So the results were still no sperm count and the doctors cannot tell us why. The next step, they told us, is they can do a testicular biopsy to open Shawn up and see what they can find. If they find sperm then it is possible they can freeze it and we can one day do In Vitro Fertilization. The good news is we had to wait for approval for the VA to pay for the biopsy and about a week ago we got the news that is was approved. We are going to move forward with that and see what happens. If there is no sperm, that will be the end of the road. The hard part to "knowing" is then that means baring a miracle of God, we will have no possibility of having biological children. The good news is we can move forward to adoption and focus completely on that. Every time we go to the doctor or get this news it is hard though. It is an ongoing grieving process. This time it hit Shawn pretty hard. It is like we go through cycles. One of us is up, one of us is down. In some ways it is a blessing because one of us can be strong for the other. Shawn has often been the strong one for me in the past few months. He always holds me and lets me cry it all out. For me the pain come and goes less frequently lately. For Shawn it rarely is displayed but after these results of course he was upset.

SO, I surprised him and we went away for the weekend. We drove 5 hours to Cleveland, OH to watch the White Sox play versus the Cleveland Indians. We had a lot of fun. I rented a car and since we were both tired after a long week it took us forever to get there but we made it. Then on Sat we met some good friends for breakfast and then walked around the city in the rain. It is a lovely city, a mix of new and old. The architecture is awesome and the downtown is very clean and visitor friendly. We went to the game, Sox lost by one run in the 8th inning, plus the Bulls lost next door playing the Caveliers, but we had fun. Then we went to eat at the Hard Rock Cafe and went back to our hotel. Our friend's had left us a nice goodie basket which was a great surprise. We headed back Sunday morning. It was a nice getaway for both of us. We didnt talk about anything to do with kids and it was nice to just be us without the pressure of that "topic."

Once we got back we did respite for our friend's foster children. N is 4 and D is 8 months. We enjoyed having them here. It was nice to use our kid rooms. I didnt even mind the 6 am bottle feedings. Life is def crazier but we loved it.

This week......we got a phone call from the funding agency. They approved a fund in our name so we have a place for people to put donations. We are going to send out support letters in the next week or so. We also are having a fundraiser this coming week- a yard sale. We started setting up for that last night. It is nice to have a donations but whew a lot of work! :)

On another note, I love my dogs. They make me smile. The other day was a particulary bad day and they both were whining when they heard me cry and came in and kissed me. I think God gives us our pets to help us get through the hard times :).

Lia Sophia is going asi asi. I have booked a couple of more shows, and closed my first show. I got my business cards yesterday and they are really pretty!! Hopefully I can start making some money now.