O Emotions.......Be Unguarded O My Heart!

I am def not as emotional as I was this past winter. There is something about Spring and Summer that make it difficult to stay in a bad mood for long! However this past week was difficult for me. There are just so many "maybes" going on. I was talking to my friend Jennifer about this the other day and I was trying to put how I was feeling into words. It is best said that ALL things in life require a risk. Over the last three years of dealing with inferility is so hard to get my hopes up and truly think that this can happen to "us." It is like other people have kids but in my mind it is hard for me to think it will happen to us. It was good to be reminded that this goes against what God has promised us. Therefore, I want to either go all or nothing. I dont want to be guarded and miss out on an opportunity that could have led to a better plan than I ever could have had. Plus even if things had gone my way.....nothing in life is guaranteed. Even a biological child......not to be morbid but that is why we are always told to "live life to the fullest."

My friend Anne wrote in her blog that mother can mean many different things. So often I fail to think of myself as that term.....me a mother? It is almost like I dont think I can be that. But really......I AM, and I WILL BE.

I told one of my good friends tonight....as Christians we tend to play it safe.....and we dont want to sound cliche....but sometimes we just need to SPEAK things and say it how we see it happening. I SEE US BEING PARENTS. We are fit to be parents, we have a heart for it, and no matter how it happens it will never be perfect but it will be God's plan.

July 4th has just passed and I cant believe it is the middle of summer already.....which means I am half way closer to becoming 26!!! CRAZY. I had a minor mid-life crisis when I turned 25 last year so who knows what this December will bring......

We had a great weekend with friends and family. I am just really excited about some possibilities that we are looking at as far as expanding our family in the coming months. Please be praying for Shawn and I as we are making decision about what is best for us and our family. Please pray that the children we take in from the foster care system will be touched in some way even if it turns out to be a temporary situation as the las time. Please pray that our hearts will be guarded, yet open to what God has as well. This is a hard time of not really knowing exactly how things will play out, yet excitement at how it could.

It is just hard for me in particular to be happy and excited and want to tell people things when it could change at any minute. I guess we have been burned a little bit and I think it is good to be guarded with information. I have learned over the years to hold my tongue and be wise in the timing of things- hence why I don't always post details on here, not to mention the code of silence and privacy we as foster parents uphold--- LOL a little dramatic but you get the idea. Anyways we have a couple of different directions it can go right now so please just keep us in your prayers!!

In the meantime, life is still going quickly. On the business front, I got the new Lia Sophia catalog today and I am SO excited to revamp my business and keep booking parties. Let me know if you are interested!!!

So who knows? Maybe by December life will be so crazy I won't have time to dwell on my age.